“What? you are here? Ok! 5 minutes, I’ll be there”, He hung up. I was waiting for him near a metal bench in the perimeter of the ground. The leaves of the Gulmohar tree hissed as it swayed in tandem to the breeze with their beautiful red flowers camouflaged in the darkness. Between the canopies of the trees I try to get a glimpse of the twinkling stars in the sky, the passing clouds blocking them from time to time. There was none in the ground, the weather was freezing. A faint music from distance and the swaying trees served me a good company as I still wait for Dev. “What’s up? Any emergency or something?” I turned as I heard Dev from behind. “You came out through the back gate, I was looking for you this side” I rubbed my hands together to get some warmth as I walked closer. “You are cold?” He pulled my hands to check “You are freezing Char” he started to blow air into my hands and rubbed them. I felt the warmth pervade into the rest of me. “Dev”I sighed to myself as I stood there looking at him. I knew that he was scolding me for coming here at this point of the time but I couldn’t concentrate in his words. Cold wind blew, brushing through his black wavy hair, his thick brows and brown eyes spoke volumes than his mouth, his lips bitten by cold were cluttering, slightly. “This is different”, I thought to myself, “The way I feel when I look at him” “Dev never looked like this to me, He is so alluring”. “Char” Dev‘s voice recovered me from my schizophrenia. “I have to talk to you, a lot!” looking into his eyes, still. He checked the time, “9:30, Ok, Come, Let’s find another place, Not under the tree”. “Library” I suggested. It was a minute walk from there.
The library had only three people scattered in the reading hall, we walked into the browsing area just to make sure we don’t disturb them. We logged into the desktop for namesake and sat in front of it by the entrance. “Now tell me Dev, what is the matter with you” my voice low. “We can sort things out”, I assured. “Excuse me for a moment” he walked out and returned after 3 minutes.
“Listen Char, I want to confess certain things and get it off my chest, I know that you have spoken to Tania and She had a list of things about me to blame, It wouldn’t me surprising even if she called me gay” I was taken aback by this statement. “All of the allegations about me are true, Ex…”
“What, You are a gay?” I interrupted before he completed his sentence.
“No, Except for that!” “Now I am going to tell something very personal and I want that to remain a secret, mind that I haven’t even told my parents about this” he kindled my curiosity. “I have been suffering from a disorder lately, Last week I visited the doctor with my test reports and he diagnosed me with Diurnal enuresis. “What? Is that any kind of deadly disease or something?” I felt like my soul was parting from my body, He looked away as if he wasn’t ready to discuss about this anymore. I rolled my chair closer to the desktop and logged in. I opened Google and typed Diurnal unersis in the search bar. Google gave me about 50,000 results in 0.38 seconds and guilt tripped me by correcting my spelling, “Diurnal enuresis” I opened the first search result and started to read through the Wiki page. After spending few minutes reading through it I turned to Dev, he wasn’t there! I looked around and spotted him trailing near the door. “So you have been to the rest room” I burst in to laughter. “Why you call it by such complicated terms, you could have just said ‘I wet my pants often Char’” I composed myself with difficulty as Dev looked emotionless.
[Diurnal enuresis is defined as the involuntary voiding of urine beyond the age of anticipated control, in the day time]
“So this is why you never hang out for long and excuse your self now and then to the rest room”
“Yes, Just to make sure that my bladder is empty”
“How long has it been?”
“2 Months “he replied “Last week Tania wanted me to take her on a long drive, I refused. We had an argument over that and ending up worse” he pouted.
“Let’s go to the doctor tomorrow”
“That wouldn’t be necessary Char, I had already visited him, urinal infection is the cause and it would subside after I finish the course of medication”
“This is it, why you had to break up for this? It’s just a petty issue and look at your face” I started to laugh just to avoid getting lost in his thoughts as earlier.
“I can’t explain things to her”
“Why cant you? Its Just like how you told me”
“No it isn’t Char, You are not her. I don’t feel the same way with her as I feel when I speak things with you. It’s kinda different, I’ll be embarrassed”I felt a sudden gush of blood into my veins; I looked away from him recollecting my self and finally succeed.I look out of the browsing area and find none seated .It was 10:30.
“It’s getting late Dev, We better leave. I have practice at 6 after that I will be leaving for the interUniv Championship, So will meet you tomorrow during dinner. Go now, get a good night sleep, everything will be fine, trust me” I hugged him wishing that I could stay like this forever. “Ok, See you” he drew me away and smiled.
Dev walked me to my hostel. I kept looking at him until his figure disappeared into the darkness.I tip-toed into my room and slid into the blanket. [“No it isn’t Char, You are not her. I don’t feel the same way with her as I feel when I speak things with you. It’s kinda different, I’ll be embarrassed”] Dev’s words crossed my mind in loop. “Did he mean that he is comfortable with me or is it like he doesn’t bother what I feel about him” I kept tweezing my brain. Just then I remembered about my practice next morning so I pushed my self to sleep, leaving all those thoughts behind.
The Championship went well; Our College secured 657 points and stood Second. It was a big day for our gang. Anusha, Priya, Salma and Amala secured first place in 4×200 meters relay, my team won three matches and lost one so secured second place, keer & sangita were part of it too, Sathya and Shama’steam[Cricket team] lost in the quarter finals but they gave a tough fight. My throat was sore after cheering and screaming all day. We had a deal, who ever secures the first place owes ice-cream treat to the rest of us. Anusha, Priya,Salma and Amala were generous about it and bought a butterscotch ice-cream tub each . We were done with our semester exams and our InterUniv championship, so nothing to worry about, we can ow indulge into the treat without any guilt. I reserved mine to have it with Dev later.
By 8 PM I reached our college campus. The campus looked less crowded as most of them had already left for their semester holidays, Dev managed to get tickets in the grand trunk express. We will be leaving together the day after tomorrow. We rushed into the canteen, our stomach was begging for food, apart from the half pav bajji in the morning I had nothing else throughout the day. As I entered the canteen I saw Dev standing near the bread counter, He waved to me. “Go on now Char, Your friend is waiting for you, don’t you dare share that ice-cream with him, it’s only for you” teased Priya. “Stop being mean Priya ,Here, take these” Amala handed two ice-cream spoons “One tub and two spoons, Go, enjoy” The whole gang burst into laughter including me. “Thanks for your generosity Amala but One tub and one spoon sounds more romantic” I handed over the extra spoon. “ooooooooooooooooooooooo” they howled in chorus.
“Congrats, I heard your team secured the second place” Dev patted on my back. I retracted immediately and sat down. “I am so hungry” I tossed the idly pieces into my mouth. “Butter scotch? That’s Tania’s favorite flavor” Dev recollected. I paused for a second and continued to eat. “Yea I know, that’s why I bought It” “We are gona meet her in a while” I winked at him. “Where?” he asked astonished. I was expecting a ‘Why’ as response actually. “Near the ground, I spoke to her already, finish up fast we have to leave” I said as I finished the last piece of my idly. “I am done” dev push his half done plate aside. “Ok then lets go” we started walking to the ground.
“You were there with me till 10:30 yesterday and was extremely busy because of the championship today, How did you find time to talk to Tania” Dev asked in excitement. “Priorities Dev” “Leave that now don’t go there and spoil everything; Tania was matured enough to understand your problem and she assured that you people can work this out together, Got it?” I turned to Dev, his face still surprised. “I’ll handle it Char, Just watch me perform!”He ran to Tania who was seated there in the metal bench dressed in coral tee and denim shorts, her waxed legs glittered in the dark and her face shined in the moon light. “Must have triggered things for Dev”, I thought. I stood at a distance trying not to look at them, but in vain. I panned my glance on Dev, It looked like a slow motion movie, and He looked very calm & composed. 100-80-40 their distance shortened as time passed by, I couldn’t take my eyes of dev; I could smell his happiness in the air. Another cold night, the trees and the faint music accompany me even today. The reason for which my heart ached yesterday is now solved, Dev looks happy but my heart still aches, its worse even. I stood there looking at the sky while the Dev and Tania enjoy the Ice-cream, feeding each other. Tania placed her head on Dev’s Shoulder; Dev took grip of her hands and kissed them, she didn’t hesitate to pull him close and plant one on his lips. “I shouldn’t stay here any more, even after realizing that I have fallen for Dev” As I pace towards my hostel the faint song grew louder and reached my ears- A song that reflects my current emotions.
Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can’t help falling in love with you
Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin
If I can’t help falling in love with you?Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand,
Take my whole life, too
For I can’t help falling in love with youFor I can’t help falling in love with you
iamhemavinotheni 